The five of cups and the right to cry.

It was an ideal day, of my best month: March. A bright sun, singing birds, a good night's sleep, well-paid work, a beautiful family and an expanding spiritual life ... Idyllic, better than ever before. I do my daily exercises and, suggested by one of the facebook groups in which I participate, the challenge arises: ask the cup cards what does my heart need today? Answer: The five of cups.

Why could my heart need such a dark card?

The five of cups can be a tough card, but not all hard is bad. The water runs under the bridge, everything passes in life, and there is always something left, a construction on the horizon, the security of a home. Even if we know all that, sometimes we just need to cry. The emotion is there, sometimes seems to have no explanation. It is necessary to throw away that emotion in some way, that which embarrasses us, that makes us feel weak, let behind what we lost and hurts even though we deny it a thousand times.

Why do we deny it?

Why do we take away the right to feel outraged and hurt by what we feel is lost?

Duels are healthy and more, they are vital in our development. Going forward without processing the pain does nothing more than transform it into a big snowball that will crush us sooner or later. I stopped criticizing the character and started to admire him. Five of cups can be my right to complein, for whatever I need to. And I'll feel better tomorrow. If I cry one day for something that seems pointless to the world does not mean that I am depressed, nor that I will never get up again. As long as you know that, everything else doesn't matter. I understand that I am disappointed because I create expectations and I wasn't able to distinguish them from reality, I assume it, I cry for it, and I leave it behind having learned a valuable lesson.

Then, I can raise my head and look at my house on the horizon. I can look behind me and see those two glasses standing, and realize that I was not considering all the options. The five of glasses seems a reminder of how limited our perspective is. Now we can see everything, since we are not busy pretending that we do not regret anything.

I understood in that moment that the five of cups can be a need of the heart, just as the challenge showed me. The need to let me cry about the spilled milk even if it's not solving the problem in practice, and although that problem seems not to be important, doing it only for the relief that produces crying before it becomes learning.